Feminists Fight Mormon Taboo About Farting At Church

Mormon feminists are launching a campaign urging LDS leaders to vocally support mothers and women who fart at church. This media-firestorm-of-the-week started when a mother of three children was attacked by a bishop for farting. Salt Lake Feminists have taken a break from their other Marxist causes (such as Love-Loud) to focus on this corner of women’s rights.

“It is 2018, and there are still these barriers thrown on women and their families, and we have to start taking the health and free choice of women in the church seriously,” Betsy Friemar said in a Salt Lake women’s conference. “LDS leaders must provide vocal support or women will continue to be excluded, bullied, and attacked for behavior that is natural and also quite positive, not only for her own health but for the health of her family, even if her parenting choices don’t align with local priesthood authority inclinations.”

Farting is actually a natural and beautiful part of a woman’s digestive process, Ms. Friemar pointed out. It has been scientifically proven to be a vital step in receiving vitamins and it helps boost our ability to fight disease. So, when local male priesthood forces women to “hold it in”, they are literally weakening women’s health and destroying their immune system. Additionally, Friemar found in her research that women improve the health of her children by farting. It literally strengthens the cells of those who smell the farts.

The mother of three children told of her harrowing experience when she met with her bishop to get him to sign her temple recommend–a process similar to applying for a Costco membership card. The meeting went completely off the rails when the Bishop started interrogating her about loudly farting during Sacrament meeting. Then, when her husband backed her up he started getting interrogated as well.

The bishop quoted from the Mormon “For the Strength of Youth” pamphlet about clean and intelligent behavior towards those around us. He acted like she as a woman was responsible for the thoughts and reactions of men around her. She had to leave the room several times to calm down, and when she was gone the bishop even told her husband he should not accept this kind of behavior from his wife.

Farting is not mentioned in the “For the Strength of Youth” pamphlet, and the Church of Jesus Christ has no official policy regarding farting in Sacrament meeting. There are just controlling male leaders who don’t like it. Male church spokesman Eric Harrins declined to comment on the thousands of women asking for their rights to be recognized.

Female leadership in the church also hasn’t said anything about it.

It is time for women, Mormon and non-Mormon alike, to rise up and demand massive change in the church. What business is it of men what women do with their bodies? There needs to be no restrictions on farting, or at least provide a special room just for women where they can go to privately do whatever they want and still listen to the sermons over a speaker… oh wait the church already has that. But still, when a mother of three can’t even express natural behavior that is positive for her health and the health of her children, it says far more about the male leadership of that church than it does about her.

So, fart loud! Fart proud! Celebrate who you are!

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