5 Ways Young Woman Leaders Should Stifle Boys In The New LDS Youth Program

1. Always Put Girls First

Insults naturally bounce off men but little acts of contempt slowly wear out their self-esteem. This what I have found. So if women leaders hire only women at the workplace, give only girls a good grade in the classroom, and constantly demean male members of the scout pack, this will go a long way to not only empower girls but also crush the male spirit. You can do this in scouting by picking only girls to lead the troops, picking girls to decide activities, and only praising the achievements of girls. It’s time to clip the Eagle Scouts’ wings.

2. Demean Male Behavior

It is no secret that men tend to have behaviors that lead to wars, crime, and aggression. It is important to know that parents are to blame for not programming their children to be more like girls. You can fix the mistakes of parents by taking the leading role in shaping their children’s lives. The great thing is people can be programmed to behave however you want. This is why I always attack males for reckless behavior and violent sports, like baseball and hockey. Throughout the history of scouting, there has been appallingly violent behavior that we need to put a stop to. No more camp fires and hikings. In fact, did you know the general idea for scouting was established from the Beor War which introduced concentration camps to the world? I’m glad that we got rid of this toxic organization and have a new youth program to shape around the ideals of equality. So never miss an opportunity to shame anyone for masculine behavior. You might even have to remind the Bishop to check his privilege and allow us to create a safe space for our young sisters.

3. Repeat A Body-Positive Slogan

As you shame the healthier males, you will notice that obese and weak males will be more receptive to equality. Give them sugary treats for when they are good, and make sure to heap praise if they pick brownies instead of basketball. This is important for body positivity, and the girls will pick up on the beauty of being comfortable with themselves. Because, we are all beautiful. Every girl deserves to be a princess. Instead of the stupid scout slogan from before, make them memorize and repeat every day:

“I am beautiful just the way I am”

“I am beautiful just the way I am”

4. Teach The Truth About The Church’s Racist Past

If we are going to transform away from a racist, sexist, homophobic community, feminists need to teach the youth about the church’s unsavory past. Did you know that in 1978, the church finally reversed its racist policy on the priesthood which had been maintained for thousands of years? They were basically forced by Malcom X to open missionary work to minorities and cut ties with white supremacy. Christianity has a wonderful, rich history of monks starving themselves and mortifying the flesh, and I think this is something we need to go back to.

Girls haven’t been as oppressed by Mormons as much as racial minorities and the LGBTQAhave been. But we certainly are disenfranchised. The church always spent heavily on lush European vacations for the Boy Scouts while girls were an afterthought. It is time to equalize the balance by teaching the girls about how oppressed they are. It is only fair to make up for what was done by providing spending only for the young women, and for historically disenfranchized groups such as the LGTBQA community.

5. Maintain Equality Boundaries

Males will, of course, not always submit to your rules, but if there is one thing they understand it is dominance. Always maintain control and never let them go outside of the boundaries of equality. They should be like babies in their playpens kept away from messing up your picturesque family room. An independent boy is never a good boy. Some behaviors such as loud music or sports should never be tolerated because that leads to toxic masculinity. This only encourages competition and oppression of women, and makes you lose control. For other undesired but necessary behaviors, they should be regulated like in a prison. Only give snacks as rewards. They need your permission before using the bathroom or drinking water. They must keep their sweaters on until you decide then everybody takes their sweaters off. They cannot take naps and they must go to bed just as soon as you order them to.

They need to learn that a necessary part of equality is dependence. The boys must be prevented from proving for themselves. Food, water, shelter, emotional validation, rest, and other psychological needs must only come from you or young women, and only on your terms. Boys must not be allowed to cook, use the bathroom unsupervised, or communicate with other boys. They only get to use the internet for 15 minutes at a time and only if they praise young women on social media. Boys must be kept away from violent video games such as Portal, Zelda, and Subway Surfers.

It’s time to encourage girls to take their rightful spots as leaders of our community, and stop the historic belittlement of women in the Mormon community. The first step, the destruction of the Boy Scouts, is complete. Celebrate with me sisters, with a glass of cider and frappacino!

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